Having a daughter is a blessing that many do not have. Unfortunately, in India and some other Asian countries, girls are considered a liability. Parents feel a girl has to be brought up in the way that she becomes a good wife and a good daughter-in-law! (good here means obedient and submissive) Girls educated and their minds mold in the way that the house they are born in is not their home but the home they will go after marriage will be their actual home! Fortunately, my parents despite having all three daughters never taught us these bullshit things. They only encouraged us to concentrate on our studies and get jobs to become strong independent women, not the usual training given by other parents to girls. There are of course many parents to girls who think and behave in the way my parents did, but I am absolutely shocked the way some parents still train their girls to be just Good Daughters-in-law! One such case which forced me to write this post is of a retired High Court Judge, his wife, and son attacking his daughter-in-law right in front of two little kids as reported by The Indian Express. You too will be moved to tears watching this extremely disturbing video of a young woman being assaulted by two men- one her life-partner and the other her father-in-law who had been the protector of justice by his post as HC judge!
I felt so disgusted by the very fact that human beings can stoop so low for the sake of money as to beat a woman in front of her little children. It was definitely the fault of all those monsters who call themselves human beings but I also feel it strongly that it is the fault of parents to wed off their daughters with lots of ‘gifts’ or dowry that they give in her marriage to such rascals who marry the girl not because of her qualities but because of the money she is bringing with her. Yes, I am saying that it’s not just the fault of boys’ family that take dowry but it’s more the fault of the girl’s family to offer dowry or gifts as they often prefer to call it to cover up the sin they are committing. I will discuss the boys and their family in some other post I write, but here I want to emphasize the fact that we have to seriously think about how we are bringing up our daughters. Please, consider your daughter as your own, not a property to be given to someone else when she grows up. Common, how can you ever expect anyone else to love, care and respect your daughter as you do? How can you ever say to your daughter now this home is NOT yours, the house of your husband and in-laws is. In the above case, I referred to, I am unable to understand why the parents of that girl who must be from a rich and reputed family got her married with this guy? I seriously doubt the marriage would have been done without any gifts from the girl’s side.
I request you all to please give the respect they deserve and don’t marry them off with big gifts as they only increase the greed and expectations in the boy’s family many times resulting in cases of domestic violence for the sake of extorting more money from the girl’s family. Let your daughters study, pursue their dreams and passion and fly high. Don’t clip their wings and just see how proud they will make you. Even if they fail, encourage them to try until they succeed. Don’t teach them to be a good daughter-in-law but good daughter bringing joy and pride to their parents when achieve extraordinary success in life!
I love this! I don’t have girls, 2 boys, but love the message here.
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I love this post! It’s so true,some cultures don’t put as much value on girls as they do on boys, unfortunately still to this day. But individuals can change that by raising there children equally and teaching their daughters that they have value,not only as someone’s partner, mother etc but as a whole person on her own!
What an absolutely great article!
Wow! What an insightful post. I love learning about different cultures. I was born in Mexico and we also have a culture where the woman typically takes care of the household and husband. I loved having the opportunity to be raised in the US as I have adopted an egalitarian mindset. Both my husband and I contribute equally in every aspect of our marriage.
Very sad how money influences so many of our decisions, even our own children’s futures. Fortunately, your parents raised you to be strong and independent. Thanks for your insight.
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