I am a woman born and brought up in India. I feel proud to be an Indian as women in India get a lot of rights and respect denied to women in many other neighboring countries. We get a good education, upbringing and are generally allowed to pursue our dreams. So, I do feel privileged as an Indian woman living in a democratic country. But your condition from an Independent woman living a respected life changes the moment you become victim to some crime. Though there was no fault at all of yours, you are treated in the way as if you yourself asked the assaulter to brutalize you. So, I feel there are some issues related to women which must be dealt with more sensitivity by people in India. We are failing as a society to show respect and give freedom to women when it comes to crimes against women. I do agree, there are crimes against women in each and every country of the world and nearly in the same numbers as well. But what is different in developed countries from our country India is the attitude of people towards the survivors of crimes. Here I want to discuss why Indian women must empathize with fellow women who survived crimes as it’s something very crucial for uplifting women in India.
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There are a large number of crimes widely spread in India against women. Some of the most henious as well as most common crimes against women in India include sexual abuse, acid assaults, and domestic violence. In all these cases, Indian society generally fails to empathize with the survivors. On the contrary, people often go to the extent of blaming the survivor herself to be responsible for instigating or provoking the assaulter to have assaulted her. I am not just talking about men who blame the women, women themselves criticize, humiliate and blame the women who suffered the misfortune of going through some traumatic experience. I strongly feel 50% of the problem can be solved only if we as a society change our attitude towards the women who have survived crimes. A survivor who has suffered physical and mental torture at the hands of her assaulter is already broken and when she receives harsh treatment from the society she feels even weaker. In many cases, the survivors in order to put an end to their sufferings take the extreme step of ending their life. All this because of the apathy of society towards them.
Why the hell a survivor of crime has to feel worthless in India? Why isn’t she treated with the same respect and freedom to live her life like a ‘normal woman’ in India as she gets in developed countries? A rape survivor in India is treated like someone ‘impure’ who should hide her identity and give up all her dreams of getting a good education, job and a suitable match for herself for marriage. Why?? Isn’t she a girl with the same mental capability and same talents anymore? A man who has had physical relations with many women is considered a ‘Dude’ and a woman who against her will was subjected to brutality by some sex beasts is considered a ‘Slut’! The height of hypocrisy indeed! Similarly, a survivor of acid attack is considered to have a scary face and denied common treatment by society as if she herself asked for the assault. She also doesn’t have much chance of getting a good job and getting married. A domestic violence survivor is hushed by her own parents and family to save family honor. She has to bear the mental and physical abuse endlessly keeping quiet about it as she can not expect any support from society. Don’t we have any responsibility as a society towards our Indian women facing crimes and violence? Don’t they deserve to live as normal a life like anyone of us? Elizabeth Smart an American woman who was kidnapped at the age of 14 and raped for months got married and now is a mom to 3 kids leading a respected life and motivating women like herself to live normal lives by her motivational speeches. You can not find even one such example in India. All I want to ask is Why not in India can we have women like Elizabeth?
I only want to request you all especially Indian women to give the same treatment to survivors of crimes as you would like for yourself or your loved one if unfortunately met with same fate. If we fail to feel the pain of our counterparts, we will fail as human beings. Women are particularly considered to be loving and understanding for everyone around them then why we often fail to empathize with those who need us the most? We can not expect much from men but women have to unite if we really want to see a change in women’s plight in Indian society. Let’s pledge to never ever blame the survivor for bringing the assault on herself and to lend them our helping hand in whatever way we can; if not in any other way than to at least by being loving and sympathetic towards them. We have to make them feel loved and continue believing in their worth. Just an episode can not ruin anyone’s life. Keep rocking Wonderful Women as Every Woman is Wonderful!
Wow, what a very inspirational post. You said this very well about crimes against women. The survivor should not be blamed.